Late February/Early March
is apparently an emotional minefield for me. Birthdays of my beloved mother and
grandmother, now both departed, plus the anniversaries of Greg's entering
hospice and his death all fall within a week. Although I've long since grieved
the passings of mother and grandmother, and Greg's death occurred six years ago
come Friday, still my mind somehow goes into a sort of -- I don't know how to
characterize it, exactly -- a sort of limbo at this time of year.
I’ve been pretty listless the past few days, and today I feel like I'm slogging
through quicksand. I didn't even understand why until I put my hands on
something that had belonged to Greg and I consciously realized that "It's
that time of year again." It's like my subconscious is working to slow me
down; during most of the year I'm barely aware of the calendar, yet at this
time I come into a somewhat painful awareness ... even without actually looking
at a calendar.
It's pretty weird, actually, and kind of fascinating in a way. Don't worry
about me! I'm just going to sort of give into it and be easy on myself for a
few days.
But I mention it because it may be the one facet of my life experience that I
had absolutely no inkling of, prior to its happening. I mention it today
because I'm aware of it today ... but also because maybe it's happened to you
or maybe it will one day happen to you. Sure, everybody walks their own path,
but when you trip one of the emotional mines in your way, it can be comforting
to know you're not alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment